the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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