Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
