Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
