My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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