I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
