you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
