I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize