Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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