Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
