ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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