he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
