worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I party with great urgency now.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
