Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
