Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
