FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
