My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
