Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
