my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
