Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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