I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize