maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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