I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
