I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
