My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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