She said her name was "party"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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