we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize