just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Holy sore nipples Batman
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
