apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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