I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
