Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize