forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
