Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
