is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
