yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
