Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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