i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
