The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
