The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
