We're facebook friends in real life
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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