I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize