This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
