You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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