so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
