I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
