is your mom at the bar?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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