at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
