i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
