check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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