He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
