Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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