Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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