I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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