I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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