I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
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