; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
