as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize