"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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