so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
