and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
