I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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