you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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