OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
