i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
