planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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