As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
