Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize