sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
