I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize