yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
