We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
