Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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