You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
