hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
nutella sex= disaster
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
